Friday, September 30, 2011

When things seem easy.

I really hate how sometimes I have to make decisions that I just don't want to make.  I don't want their repercussions, because either way, there WILL be problems with my decision...with this decision.  Who do i choose to alienate? You? or You?....

Right now I'm just waiting for an answer.  Thanks God... I love the lessons, but reeeeeally now?? NOW??? I'm being forced to learn patience.  One of the most difficult things in my life, just being patient. patient. patient. patient............
or rather. learning patience sucks.

Sometimes, I just want everything to work out the way I want it all to work out, and live my life easy peasy lemon squeezy... but OF COURSE what kind of person does that develop??? Do I really want to be that sad naive person who has never had any trials in their life, and who have never had that opportunity to have involuntarily grown stronger?  Do I want to be have to say that "sorry... I don't know what it could've been.... I never tried it."

I guess this is basically just me convincing myself that waiting is worth it.  I want to be able to say that I went headfirst into this experience, and everything I gained, well... at least I gained it.  Taking risks is the only way anything will ever change sometimes.
But should I? I don't know.
What do I say though?
What do I say when everything I want to say is forbidden.

I hate it when things seem easy.