Friday, November 4, 2011

There's no place like home... except home.

Last year when I first came to Geneseo, I knew no one.  I had no roommate, and I had no connections whatsoever. (not sure if that's supposed to be all one word? anyone?)  I got involved with InterVarsity, which is the Christian fellowship group on campus, and started meeting new people, making new friends, and kind of creating a new life for myself way up here in western New York.  Now, in this new life, I wasn't changed at all.  My personality stayed the same, my past obviously stayed the same, and so did my reactions to things, and my problem solving tendencies.  However, being at school has created a new home for me. So, I guess maybe it's not so much a new "life" per-say, but a new home would be more correct.

I saw Geneseo just another place where I made friends, then left them, and went HOME to my "true" friends, and my family.  I viewed my college the way I viewed my summer camp, and the Bible school I went to, and other places where I spent more than just a week of my life.  I never really attached myself to them.  I was never that girl who bawled her eyes out on the last day, when everyone was leaving.  I viewed the friends I had made there as more temporary friends, and not so much as people who I wanted to love as friends for the rest of my life.  I don't know why I did that... but I do know that it kept me from hurting too badly when I left.  However it also prevented me from living fully.  As Christians, we're called to love people! Loving them doesn't just mean being there for them when they need someone, or giving them advice or even just hugging them when they think they just failed their exam.  People usually have to WORK at that part of loving people.  What I've come to realize about myself is that I have been called to love people on a daily basis.  Not love for a moment when they need it most, but love them in those moments where they don't need it either!! It might sound weird, but I have to learn how to invest myself in relationships with others, and not just rely on chance meetings to grow as friends.  

That being said.  I had a really stressful week.  It seems like everything that I had to do, had to be done on 
Wednesday, with an exam on Thursday, AND a book to read, a worship practice to attend, a 2 hour lab class, a french meeting, and then a 5 hour study session...... oh yeah, and think about what I want to do with my future and write a paper about it.... yeah......  There just wasn't enough time in my day to devote to each thing... THEN to make matters better, I woke up at 11:40 on Wednesday morning, and missed my two morning classes. good job at waking me up, crackberry.  I was freaking out.  My friend commented to me that she knew I was having a stressful day because I was wearing a t-shirt and jeans (I never do that.... I kinda just like looking nice.)  

What happened then????
Well I'm glad you asked.

I did everything I was supposed to, went to my lab, colored for two hours straight (yeah. totally NOT a waste of time..............) then ate food in the fifteen minutes of free time that I had, and went up to worship practice.

This story would be really depressing and probably stressful for YOU as well as for me, so I'm not going to finish it, because it all went as planned, for the most part.  However, God is awesome!!!! God showed me other people's love for me, when I was stressing out.  God has put some really great people in my life, who made me think back to HIM when I was in the "depths of despair" ;) (not really, but let me be dramatic) Usually I'm  the comforting, advice-giving, helpful person who wants to solve everyone's problems, and I make other people feel better.  I don't stress out about things that often, and usually I just leave it between me and God.  I'm not one to go searching for help. I want to do it all myself.  I didn't go looking for comfort, or looking for help on Wednesday, but I saw a couple friends, and when they asked how I was, I obviously told them, because I wasn't "good".  The amount of love and support was pretty astonishing!!! I know that it was just stress, and not some major life crisis, but it still meant a lot to me.

One friend looked me straight in the eye, after I whined all about how busy I was, and he said "God is your strength." bam. done. end of story..... Can I just say how peaceful that made me feel??? (uhhhhh YEAH i can. it's my blog.) Remembering that I didn't have to do it on my own put such a peace in my heart before worship practice.  THEN, surprise numero dos, (I'm declaring my major and I had to make an appointment with the Communication's department chair, and then got this sheet of paper telling me all the things I had to have ready for the interview.. including that paper.) the department chair was at our worship practice!!!(???) he was our "sound guy" and I ended up talking to him for a little bit, and found out that this 'paper' only really needed to be three paragraphs. *cue weight being lifted off my shoulders*

...not such a fantastical story.... but I haven't written a blog in a while, and I thought that this needed to be shared. 

1.  Love is more than just fixing people's problems when they need it.  
Love is actually taking time out of your day just to be around that person, with no ulterior motive.  
Erika does not invest enough time in her relationships with others.

2.  Love is more than just taking time out of your day just to be around a person.
Love is being there for someone when they need advice, or even just a warm hug.
Erika needs to become more comfortable with sharing her problems and hurts.

3.  Home is not just a place, but it's a state of mind where one feels safe and comfortable sharing their joys, sorrows, hurts, problems, and lives with others.
Geneseo is Erika's home.