Friday, August 16, 2013

A date night

It's tough sometimes, pulling and tugging at time in our schedule, trying to stretch it and make time for ourselves. 
Between work, Taylor's classes, school work, and our drive to and from work, we barely have time for anything, least of all each other.  

But its ok.....Because when those times do happen, they're magical! Filled with deep conversation and jokes and so much laughing.... with a sprinkling of hugs and kisses on top.  That's what we got last weekend. 

We spent the day getting sweaty and saw-dusty while cleaning out the garage. 

That night we went to a movie 2 hours later than we planned to around 10 pm, after we showered and prettied-up.  We saw Elysium! 
[opinion on the movie: the plot was a little underdeveloped, and there was way too many exploding bodies for my taste -5-, but the message was pretty good, and it was certainly suspenseful!]

After that we were exhausted, but we went to a 24 hr. diner and had some dinner.  [dinner at the diner. heh.]
Honestly... this was the best time we've spent together in a while.  Our schedule is always so busy, that one night of just US time was like a breath of fresh air.  

Now that all sounds wonderful, right? But the outtakes [or bloopers] look like this: 
-Erika crying all the way to the movie because she realized that she won't be able to watch her friends' kids grow up, because she's moving to Oregon in a year...
-Erika crying during the movie because she realized that she's leaving Oregon in a week...
-Erika crying during dinner because she's having trouble communicating all her emotions
-Taylor has no idea what's going on, and is just trying his best to fix all the emotional breakdowns.
Hormonal emotions. Let's blame them.

But let's also see what we learned from all of this:
1. Crying is not a problem... it does not need fixing.
2. Moving away from home is going to be more difficult than expected
3. The expression of real emotion...real, RAW emotion... is sometimes more life-giving and bonding than if I had just dismissed it.
4. I just needed to be understood.

You don't have to be afraid of possibly causing conflict [like bawling the entire time for a bit during the first date you've had in a while]... because conflict isn't a bad thing.  Conflict can be beneficial! It all depends on how the conflict is perceived by both sides.
Taylor and I weren't arguing about anything, we didn't disagree about anything...he just didn't know what I needed from him! His manly instincts told him to fix it, because crying is ALWAYS a bad thing in men's brains....  But my "don't even..." when he tried, told him exactly the opposite.  He was stuck trying to make it better, but trying to do it the RIGHT way.
 I finally realized that what I needed, rather than 10 solutions, was just for Taylor to understand and empathize with my feelings, and tell me that it's ok.

That's the beauty of the way God created men and women.  He created men to be a strong, protector, leader, provider, 'fix-er'... and women as an emotional, loving, nurturing, yet still strong and passionate caretaker.  And THAT is the beauty of marriage.  Two people coming together to be ONE, and bring all their strengths, weaknesses, talents, fears, hopes, and dreams together, to fill in where the other lacks, and work as a team...

I'm glad I get to be on his team.