Tuesday, July 5, 2011

There's a new Martha Stewart in the hizzouse!!!


Today I made dinner.
I found a recipe online, and I made it.
It was healthy too!!! You betcha bottom dollar!!

It all started out nice and simple.  I was actually very excited!! (I mean come on... who wouldn't be?) (...Well, Martha Stewart wouldn't be.) The ingredients were easy, the recipe was easy, so you'd think it would be a piece of cake, right???
no... if you thought that, then you were horribly wrong. and so was I.

Let's reminisce, shall we? 
(ok fine I'll reminisce, you just pretend you know what I'm talking about...)
smile and nod people.. smile and nod.

FAIR WARNING: (just so I can say that I gave you fair warning....) This is a long story.. so if you really don't wanna read it, then just look at the pictures. I won't be offended....

For those of you who do not know (I say "those" as if so many people read this blog... oy vey.) My house has been under construction. and when I say construction, I mean rip-your-walls-down-and-your-roof-off-and-make-erika-sleep-in-a-dungeon-for-MONTHS kinda construction.  So since then... we've been eating out a lot.. A LOT a lot... not so healthy. sorry. (but I'm really not all that sorry?...sorry.) (but again, not sorry.)

ANYWAY! Today started off as a very boring day, and by about 6pm I decided that enough was enough, and III was gonna do somethin about my day!!!!! So, after reading this post from this blog, a week or so ago, I decided to make that food.  If you didn't click the links, then YOU are in the dark right now about what kinda food I made... unless you scrolled down. YOU CHEATER!

So. I was bored.
and I take pictures when I'm bored I guess?

I did not know what to do with myself!!

Then I got an idea...
A very fantastic idea!

that I would make this awesome recipe

and that I would love it....

pretty :)

So I made a list!!!!!!
actually I didn't, but this is just for visual aid.
then I ran out of our kitchen into.... the kitchen?
^which looks like this^
...and now you see why we've been eating out so often...
the stove isn't even connected to anything... ANYTHING!!!!
just sittin there on the floor, supposedly minding it's own business. but I know better.
ok that's enough.. ANYWAY!

and I had to plug in the plug... which was the
of a SOFTBALL!!!
(I'm exaggerating, it was a golfball.)
So i had to clear off the various
cereal, soda, water bottles,
gatorade, and floor tiles that were
on top of it.

plugged it in, pre-heated it to 450... we're definitely getting somewhere
(it was NOT 2:07 by the way. that is a bold-faced lie.)
And now it was time to clean the chicken!!!
(yesss it's gonna be chickennnn!!!! get. excited.)
well.. are you excited??? ya should be.

Except that I couldn't, because there
were a bunch of dishes in the sink...
and our dishwasher's not plugged in.
i wouldn't even know where to LOOK
for that plug.. AND the plumbing.


BUT that was no hinderance to me!!!!!
the hair went up, and the ninja warrior inside of me
reared it's ugly head..
it was a beautiful moment.

I cleaned those dishes...

I cleaned them well....
and apparently left the water running.
we're not all perfect.

Then I had to clean the chicken.... First and foremost, I have never cleaned chicken by myself before... and it always looked easy, right??? WRONG!!! wrong again!!! Lemme just lay it out for you..

  1. Chicken Smells freakin gross.
  2. It's so slimy that when you try to cut off that nasty white stuff all over it, the stupid chicken cutlet flies out of your hand and ACROSS.THE.ROOM. (maybe not across the room. maybe just to the bottom of the sink. but STILL.)
  3. About that white stuff.... yuck. a million times over, yuck. I have no idea what I cut through tonight, but I am SO glad that it's not inside.my.body. right now.
I did what I think people usually do when they clean chicken... put it in a bowl with some water and swish it around a bit?? 
("swish" makes me think of mouth wash. guess THATS ruined for me now)
The worst thing about the chicken cutlets was that they LOOKED like fish, swimming in a pool of nasty, cloudy, chickeny water. I wanted to rescue them... and get the H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS away from them at the same time.
I really had absolutely no idea what I was doing, but you better believe that those things were CUH-LEAN when i was finished!

tangent over...

So then I gathered my supplies!!!! after a half hour of shoving stoves closer to plugs and doing carrying wet dishes 5 ft to the stovetop-turned-countertop.
I got spices... salt pepper and garlic powder!
I got tin-foil!
two eggs (i actually needed three.)
some corn flakes.....
ok a lotta corn flakes..
organized my work space!!!!!
(after crushing the corn flakes into smaller pieces so they stick...
and after adding the S, P and Garlic Powder to the egg.)

Then after I dipped those cutlets in the egg, and rolled them in my crushed flakes, I put them on tin foil in any pan i could find, and shoved em into the oven for 15-17 minutes!!!! (how legit did THAT sound... not.)

ummm YUM! 
for those of you who DON'T know,
that's the sound I make when something tastes really good
(or even looks like it tastes really good.)
That was my adventure today.... and after making FOUR trays of this chicken while i was home... alone... I realized that no one would be there to eat it..
UNTIL my unsuspecting younger brother and his friends walk into the house
so they ate half... and loved it!! begged for more!!! PLEADED!!! but i had to refuse them... I needed to save some for the rest of the family!
how responsible of me...

anyway. I'm sick of this now.
make this recipe
and love me. (and this girl)
thank me later!