Wednesday, August 11, 2010

In a strange new world

Today I went shopping. Oh joy!!!! Yay!!! Hooray!! One of my favorite past times!!! However, today was different. I was going shopping for my dorm room at college. Totally a different ball game here.  I'd never done this before, had absolutely NO idea where to start, or even which color scheme I was going for.  Looking back on it now, I see that it was, to be frank, a hot mess.  I thought I wanted purple, because it IS after all, my favorite color! But when I started walking down the festively colored aisles frankly labelled "College Dorm", and began to get lost amidst the vast array of sheets, and comforters, towels, and hand towels, shower caddies, and face cloths, storage bins, and shelves, wall hangers, and lamps, rugs, and bulletin boards, pillows, and pillow cases, and other various organizational gimmicks (*which were invented for the sake of parents sending their cherished children off to college, so that they can feel like this 10" x 8" x 5" cheap, vulgarly colored, nastily patterned, hard plastic box, would somehow force their child to be more organized, and not just be carelessly thrown into the corner of the room to collect dust*)I realized that I did NOT want all purple.

But I also realized that this is it.  I'm leaving home now.  I spent the past 18 years of my life being trained and raised and taught by two wonderful parents, for this very season.  This season of my life in which I pack up almost every bit of clothing that I own, (except the stuff I will never, ever be caught dead wearing) random pictures of friends and family, all my shoes! (and that does NOT count the ones that I wear, which actually belong to my mother) all my jewelry, my small supply of makeup, some books, some posters, some.. well a lot of stuffed animals (don't judge me), and anything else that I think I might possibly use during the next bunch of months that I will be spending away from home.
This is a season of change.  A time in my life where I really do have to grow up, past the maturity that I've already come into.  I have to take care of myself now, and start living as an independent young woman.

When I was younger, and I saw other people going to college, I would think to myself that one day that's gonna be me! but it always seemed so far away! 18 always seemed like a HUGE number to me.  As if I would be so different by then, well, by now.  However, I don't see the difference, it doesn't seem very obvious in me.  I don't even FEEL as if I'm old enough to go to college! I feel like I should still be in high school lol. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??? Since WHEN have I been an adult? College used to be so far in the future, even when I graduated in June, it still seemed so far away, but it's happening. "One day" is now here, and I've gotta get ready for it.  All I can do is trust God to help me figure this whole thing out, and just give me grace and patience with myself, and other people.